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Lyrics by Joel Mabus

NO WORRIES NOW

(fossil 2009)

All written material ©2009 Joel Mabus
all rights reserved -- do not post this material to another website!

Scroll down or click on title to read the lyrics or monologues.

To learn more about this CD, click here 
To order this or any album, click here  

Am I Right 
Come Along Again
Two Cents Plain
Alligator Ate Her Poodle
Little Mister Diddy
You Voted Red
Poison In The Glass
Halfway Home
Charlie Birger
Give It Up
Shine
How Can I Keep From Singing [the old hymn re-imagined]
Extra Poison [bonus track]

DO NOT COPY THESE LYRICS TO ANOTHER WEBSITE!

 

AM I RIGHT
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

You coming to me - ask my advice
Well I don't chew my cabbage twice
So sit up straight and listen up tight -
Falling in love is as easy as pie
But in a short spell you'll be wondering why
It stings like an old snake bite - am I right - or am I right

Am I right - Am I right -
New Love stings like a snake bite might -- Am I right or am I right

Love is blind -- you just can't see
When it's gonna come, who it's gonna be
You just can't fool your heart, try as you might -
So take what comes and leave what goes
And tell those gossiping so-and-sos
To go fly a kite, - am I right -- or am I right

Am I right - Am I right -
Them waggin' tongues can take a hike -- Am I right or am I right

Time is money - money is time
You gotta take your pick, make up your mind
Do you need that three piece suit or will less suffice -
Whether on the job or with your honey
When you take your time, your gonna drop some money
It's a question of appetite, am I right -- or am I right

Am I right - Am I right -
Take your pick, don't pick a fight -- Am I right or am I right

Life is good and life is sweet
Play the cards you got- don't try and cheat
You'll end up in the hole or a no win fight -
Life is short, just one time around
So make it count -- here's what I've found
It's best when it's sweet and light - am I right -- or am I right

Am I right - Am I right -
Make it sweet and keep it light -- Am I right or am I right

Am I right - Am I right -
It's clear as a bell - like day & night -- Am I right or am I right

Am I right or am I right

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COME ALONG AGAIN
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

When the days are getting longer
A change is in the air
And all the snow is off the ground except for here and there
You leave your jacket hanging on the hook 'cause you don't care
Springtime is comin' on again

Come again
Come along again
The seasons are a circle and the circle never ends
So step aboard the carousel - enjoy it while you can
Round-a-bout and come along again

When the lilacs are a blooming, just aching to be picked
The maple seeds are twirling and the bugs are gettin' thick
You're tempted to the swimmin' hole - it chills you to the quick
But Summer is a-comin' on again
[chorus]

When the twilight falls upon you - before your work is done
The leaves atop the trees are turnin' colors of the sun
Then you better knock off early and have a little fun
'Cause Autumn is a-comin' on again
[chorus]

When all your days are black and white, the sky's a shade of gray
And every other week it seems another holiday
When the feasting's over and the tinsel's packed away
A new year is comin' on again
[chorus]

Come again
Come along again
The seasons are a circle and the circle never ends
So step aboard the carousel - enjoy the ride my friend
Round-a-bout and come along
Merry go around along
Round-a-bout and come along again

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TWO CENTS PLAIN
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

Times is tough, that's sure enough
No matter where you go
Credit's bad, can't run a tab
Gotta pony up the dough
Busted flat - no crime in that
Just nickels to your name
Well belly right up to the bar
And tell 'em "two cents plain"

Now, there's a drink you might not know
It's called a "two cents plain"
It ain't no liquor, ain't no wine
It sure ain't no champagne
Just carbonated water
With nothing on the side
Just the perfect chaser
For swallowing your pride…

CHORUS:
If you can't afford to buy a bottle of booze
A bottle of wine will do
If you can't afford to buy a bottle of wine
A bottle of beer's good too
If you can't afford to buy a bottle of beer
Brother I feel your pain
Have a drink on me - hey maitre d'
Another "two cents plain"

Down where Broadway crosses Main
A little spot I know
Where thirsty mates commiserate
And all the noses glow
Now if you stand with glass in hand
You get your lunch for free
But if you're running short of cash
Take this from me:

When a man goes broke, it ain't no joke
It's time to face the facts
Gotta drop the pout, go steppin' out
Get busy slappin' backs
No matter if they're drinkin'
the finest kind of gin
Just have yourself a two cents plain
And you will fit right in…
[CHORUS 2x]

One glass of seltzer, hold the twist
Bartender -- two cents plain

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ALLIGATOR ATE HER POODLE
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

Alligator ate her poodle
Coyote caught her cat --
Neighbor lady took her husband
Don't know what to make of that

Walt Disney took a small town
And turned it into his --
Took command o' Orlando,
What it was and what it is

Okeechobee Loxahatchee
Pensacola to the Keys --
Tallahassee to Miami
You can do just what you please

Drain the swamp and build a condo
Plant some melaleuca trees --
Take the speedboat on the water
Dreadful sorry, manatees

Alligator ate her poodle
Coyote caught her cat --
Hey Betty - getting' sweaty
Turn down that thermostat

Spring breakers - merry makers
Come the March of every year --
Jell-O shooters down at Hooters
Wet t-shirts - lots of beer

Check the air fare, Find a time share
Where the sun is sure to shine --
Telling golf jokes with the old folks
Little spritzers made of wine

Oh the hunger to be younger
Like ol' Ponce de Leon --
He's Playing tuba down in Cuba
Since Fifteen Twenty One

Alligator ate her poodle
Coyote caught her cat --
Ever since she moved to Florida
Everybody's getting fat

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LITTLE MISTER DIDDY
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

I'll sing a little ditty
About a little city
Where little Mister Diddy
had a little bitty plan
Diddy had ambition
Turned a politician
Crushed the opposition
and here is how he ran:
Chorus:
Little did he know -- Little did he care
Little did he wonder
what was goin' on in there
Little did he see -- Little did he show
Little did he think, and little did he know

When little Mr. Diddy
Was mayor of the city
He stuck his little finger in every little pie
He never was suspected
In fact got re-elected
Cause this is what you thought
when you looked him in the eye
[Chorus]
Ahhhh - little diddy
Haw Haw Haw- little diddy
Tee Hee Hee - little diddy
Ho Ho - little did he know

Little Mr. Diddy
Left the little city
He got a little lucky on a presidential bid
Then He led the nation
To near-annihilation
no exaggeration - how little Diddy did
[Chorus]

They said of Mr. Diddy
That it was a pity
That Mister Diddy missed
what was goin on around
They started a committee
Got the nitty gritty
On little Mr. Diddy
and here is what they found
[Chorus]
Ahhhh - little diddy
Haw Haw Haw- little diddy
Tee Hee Hee - little diddy
Ho Ho - little did he know
Ho Ho - little did he know
Ho Ho - little did he know

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YOU VOTED RED
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

You voted red, and I voted blue
I wonder how some people do what they do
I wonder what goes on inside of your head
When I pull for blue and you go for red

I voted black when you voted white
We sat up and argued night after night
We both said some things we can never take back
Since you voted white and I voted black

I'm for the pink while you support yellow
You know how that aggravates my clientele - Oh,
You say it's not personal, but what can I think
When your ribbon says yellow and my button says pink

You voted orange when I voted green
It's one or the other, there's no in-between
Clearly your latent hostility shows
You know I'm a G and you chose the O's

Our colors are clashing - it sure makes it hard
For t-shirts and ribbons and signs in the yard
It's a good thing we're naked when we rendezvous
'Cause you go for red, and I go for you

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POISON IN THE GLASS
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

What goes up comes down
What's in is later out
Cheers of adulation soon become an angry shout
One day you are a lion
The next day you're the goat
So as we raise our toast to you, prepare your antidote

Thank you Mister Socrates, so nice to have you here
The citizens of Athens have made their feelings clear
We so enjoy your dialogues - such questions that you ask
But, You really must be going now - there's poison in the glass

chorus:
Poison - Poison - Poison in the glass
A knife between the shoulder blades
A serpent in the grass
Poison - Poison - Poison in the glass
The cat's among the pigeons now
And poison's in the glass

Pay no attention to your wife, that superstitious thing
The ides of March mean nothing - Rome is lovely in the spring
The senators will see you now if you will walk this way
Let Plutarch write your history, let Shakespeare do the play
[chorus]

You're queen of all the Nile but now you've got a situ-ashe
The enemy is at the door - you've heard his invi-tashe
Caesar and Mark Anthony and their brats that you begat
There's no one here to help you now, is there, Cleo-pat?

Poison - Poison - Poison in the asp
A knife between your bosom
A serpent in your grasp
Poison - Poison - Poison in the glass
The cat's among the pigeons now
And poison's in the glass

And you my gentle listener, I pray take no alarm
You're here among your friends - surely no one means you harm
So Disregard this little verse, 'tis but a silly song
Eat, drink and be merry, what could possibly go wrong?
[chorus]

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HALFWAY HOME
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

Down the Mississippi River there's a place I call my home
Its many years behind me now - the old folks all have flown
But I can slip away any time of day to that place I've always known
One taste of Southern Comfort, boy - I'm already halfway home

They tore down the old brick courthouse to improve that city square
And lovers lane just ain't the same since they put those condos there
Things come and go, but still I know, no matter where I roam
One whiff of fresh-made cornbread, son - I'm already halfway home

The philosophers claim - ain't it a shame
You can never go home again
I don't care what they say - I found a way
It's a method I recommend

Bake a couple of sweet potatoes and butter them up real good
Fry that catfish golden brown - hush puppies if you could
Tomatoes and greens and a pot of beans just like your mama's own
Then close your eyes and realize you're already halfway home

The philosophers claim - ain't it a shame
You can't never go home again
I don't care what they say - I found a way
It's a method I recommend

Bake a couple of sweet potatoes and butter them like you should
Fry that catfish nice and brown - hush puppies if you would
'Maters and greens and a pot of beans just like your mama's own
Then you close your eyes and realize you're already halfway home

Yes, one Madeleine and I'm on that train - already halfway home

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CHARLIE BIRGER
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

I'll tell you all a story 'bout an old time gangster man
Down in little Egypt, that's where he made his stand
It's about old Charlie Birger, and all the things he done
A man that's quick to tell a joke and quick to pull his gun
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

Some called him a Russian, Some called him a Jew
His family made the crossing back in 1882
Mama raised her little Sasha in old St Louis town
But everybody called him Charlie till the day they cut him down
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

When he was just a young man, Charlie headed west
When it came to bustin' broncos, Charlie Birger was the best.
Them wild-eyed ponies had a spirit like his own
He was born to be an outlaw from his skin down to his bone
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

He settled down in Harrisburg become a family man
When them Coal miners got thirsty, Charlie Birger filled the can
And if he didn't pay the tax to those men from revenue
He gave the people what they wanted like good neighbors do
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

He opened up a roadhouse he called the Shady Rest
For barbeque and lemonade, Charlie Birger sold the best
But the money's in the back room where Charlie ran the game
And other entertainments after prohibition came
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

There always were some people who would spit on Charlie's name
Come after him in hoods & robes and crosses made of flame
To this day in Franklin County it's hard to find a man
Who doesn't know the story of how Charlie beat the Klan
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

Now Charlie had a temper that would flash from time to time
But never harmed an honest man on the farm or in the mine
And many a miner's widow will pray for Charlie's soul
Cause it was Charlie Birger bought 'em food and Charlie brought 'em coal.
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

Some say it was the money some say it was the gin
Some say it was that Shelton gang that finally done him in
When the mayor of West City took a fatal pistol ball
At the Franklin county courthouse, Charlie Birger took the fall
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

"I've killed some men," said Charlie, "but not a one was any good.
And as far as what you charge me with, let it be understood
I'm innocent of this thing, but I'm guilty of much more
So when you go to hang me - it'll even up the score"
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

"Don't put a white hood on my head," he told the hanging man
"I wouldn't want them folks to think I joined up with the Klan
Hang me in a black hood," he told 'em with a grin
"It's a wonderful world," old Charlie said, "go ahead and pull the pin."
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

There's many a poor boy hung from the gallows tree
And many a wicked scoundrel has walked away Scot free
Now Charlie was a gangster, he broke the law it's true
But he never stole a person's home the way these bankers do
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

Was the Nineteenth day of April in 1928
Down in Franklin County in the bottom of the state
The last public hanging in the state of Illinois
Lord have mercy on his soul - forgive that outlaw boy
Charlie Birger is dead and gone
Left me here to sing this song

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GIVE IT UP
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

Give it up - Give it up -
Give it up - Give it up
Quit singing me your blues
Relax, stop furrowing your brow
Drop that mask of tragedy
Your act does not amuse
Adios, Auf Wiedersehen and Ciao

This world will keep on spinning
No matter what you do
For all your sweat and bother
And the scenery you chew
This life is not a drama
It's an improvised refrain
So scrap that fevered script
You are rehearsing in your brain

Give it up - Give it up -
Give it up - Give it up
It's over - take a bow
Relax, you've got no worries now

Give it up - Give it up -
Give it up - Give it up
Your future's obsolete
Relax - I have your passe-partout:
Eliminate tomorrow
Break it off and make it sweet
Do svidanja, zay gesunt and toodle-oo

The past is but a memory
And memories do lie
They wilt and they wither
And they leave you asking why
The moment now is everything
Start living for today
Like a feather in the breeze
Just Give it up and float away

Give it up - Give it up-
Give it up - Give it up
It's over - take a bow
Relax, you've got no worries now

Give it up - Give it up -
Give it up - Give it up
Your castle in the sky
Relax - your home is where you are
Surrender your illusion
Wrap it up and say goodbye
Aloha, Sayonara, Au revoir

The less that you desire
The more you will become
It really is that simple
So quit banging on your drum
Things are in the saddle
And upon you they do ride
Lay down your heavy load
And Turn around and step aside

Give it up - Give it up -
Give it up - Give it up
It's over - take a bow
Relax, you've got no worries now

Give it up - Give it up -
Give it up - Give it up
It's over - take a bow

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SHINE
words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

Way down yonder -- down in the cotton patch
Bottom land -- where mosquitoes hatch
A lightening bug was cutting a rug
Dancing all around like a drunk with a jug
Say Hey - little firefly
Don't you have better fish to fry
He said to me, wherever I be
I got to let my little light shine

Chorus:
Shine - the little light you got
Shine - into the night you got
To take off the lid, I'm telling you kid
What's the use of glowing if you're keeping it hid
Shine - and make a night of it
Shine - don't be fighting it
Turn it around - love can be found
But you got to let your little light shine

One rainy night down in New Orleans
Jackson Square, by the river bend
A man with a drum was makin' it hum
Beatin out a rhythm till his fingers were numb
Say hey - nobody's listening
Call it a day - why don't you pack it in
He said to me, wherever I be
I got to let my little light shine
[chorus]

You're all alone - and you're feeling blue
No one seems to understand what you do
You're singing your part alone in the dark
Don't you know that everything starts with a spark
Shine - like a chandelier
Shine - light it up in here
Let 'em all see -- Wherever you be
You got to let your little light shine
[chorus]

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HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING
[the old hymn re-imagined]

words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

There is a song we seem to know
That's just beyond our hearing
Softly now it seems to grow
And through the fog is clearing
The music sweet, the lyric keen
A message to us bringing
I hum along and I join the tune
How can I keep from singing

From time to time, there comes a song
It matters not the singer
A song of grace and charity
No trace of guile or anger
As harmonies around me build
A new world just beginning
My faith renewed, it beckons me
How can I keep from singing

When warriors come and bang the drum
And march their troops before us
Then friends of peace link hand in hand
And join as one in chorus
Their voices rise from every land
An anthem sweetly ringing
I hear their song of peace on earth
How can I keep from singing

A song of hope, a song of love
A song of understanding
A song to lift me up above
This world of strife and yearning
So long as blood within me flows
This song shall know no ending
So while I yet have breath and voice
How can I keep from singing

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EXTRA POISON
[bonus track]

words and music © 2009 Joel Mabus 

Sometimes a writer writes a song and won't know when to quit
Or maybe has a favorite verse that doesn't seem to fit
So here are little extra bits of "Poison in the Glass"
Just enough to fill a pretty little demitasse

Poison - Poison - Poison in the glass
A knife between the shoulder blades
A serpent in the grass
Poison - Poison - Poison in the glass
The cat's among the pigeons now
And poison's in the glass

My husband is expecting you, Mr. Robert Ford
He's in there with his breakfast, -- your coffee has been poured
We're feeling so much safer ever since we changed our names
So call me Mrs. Howard , not Mrs. Jesse James
Poison - Poison - Poison - Poison

Welcome to Saint Helena, Monsieur Bonaparte
We've learned a lot since Elba - no more mischief will you start
We'll fix a lovely room for you and serve you every day
Although the chef is British, we've got lots of Beaujolais
Poison - Poison - Poison -- Poison

Charlotte Corday has come your way, Citizen Marat
She's here to help you with that list of enemies you've got
No need to rise up from the tub, or hide your morbid skin
She'll only be a moment - now shall I show her in
Poison - Poison - Poison - Poison

Now understand, Iscariot, your silver's in the purse
You drive a wicked bargain, you could have done far worse
Now lead us to the garden, where you need not point or speak
All that is required is one kiss upon the cheek

Poison - Poison - Poison in the glass
A knife between the shoulder blades
A serpent in the grass
Poison - Poison - Poison in the glass
The cat's among the pigeons now
And poison's in the glass

So there's your extra poison should you choose to toss it back
It's right here when you want it in this little bonus track
SO many lovely characters could occupy this song
But someone had to get the ax - it was just too bloody long !

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ALL LYRICS WRITTEN BY JOEL MABUS
© 2009 JOEL MABUS
FINGERBOARD MUSIC, BMI
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED -- 

DO NOT COPY THESE LYRICS TO ANOTHER WEBSITE!